Elon Musk Says He’s Clean
Gaslight Harder, Spaceboy
You know it’s another bizarre timeline when the richest man on Earth is posting his test results like a teenager proving he didn’t vape. Oh sure, we’re supposed to trust the guy who tossed up a full-on Nazi salute on stage and called it a heartfelt thank you. Uh-huh. MhmKKK.
Let’s rewind. The Wall Street Journal published a piece digging into Elon Musk’s alleged ketamine use. Not just some gossip rag. The Journal. They reported concerns from insiders and board members that Musk might be mixing genius with psychedelics, and that it could be impacting his behavior and decision making. Given the way he runs X, and the video we all saw, it wasn’t exactly shocking.
The New York Times reported on Musk’s drug use, and they didn’t hold back. According to the Times, Musk’s “drug consumption went well beyond occasional use,” citing sources and concerns from within Tesla and SpaceX, including private messages and interviews with people who have known or worked with him. Not just ketamine. A pattern. A problem. Something the issue. takes an issue with.
Naturally, manchild Musk threw a tantrum. He accused WSJ of being a propaganda machine, posted memes, and tried to roast the outlet like he wasn’t the one spiraling. Great way to prove you’re totally not high.
Musk even admitted to ketamine use himself last year. Claimed it was prescribed for depression. Ok, fine, whatever, unless you’re all up in America’s most private data trying to control the whole of US!
Enter the urine tests. Musk posted a screenshot of his “clean” lab results to “prove” the media wrong. Then his own post got Community Noted which is a crowd-sourced content moderation system designed to allow users to add context to posts they find misleading.
Elon posting a piss test is a totally normal thing to do. Except it’s not. This is nothing other than PR theater with the intent to raise his companies stock prices. The bullshit test result means nothing when you control every step of the chain and when hair analysis would also be needed. And we’d be hard-pressed to believe those. If you think Elon’s post was transparent, I’ve got some Tesla stock to give you for free. That’s how worthless his claim is.
Twitter user Geno Trevino had one of the best clap backs to Elon’s urine test troll post
This all feels incredibly reminiscent of Trump’s “I’ll release my medical records (in two weeks) soon” energy. Musk’s lab results are about as believable as Trump’s BMI. Both are obsessed with optics and allergic to accountability. And obese with narcissistic personality disorder.
Why shouldn’t we believe Elon? Because he’s a billionaire who lies, attacks anyone who questions him, and manipulates narratives in real time using a platform he owns. Ya know, he’s a straight up fucking liar. Dude wants the perks of being a misunderstood genius without any of the scrutiny. And when the heat’s on, he yells “fake news” like his orange funded president and waves a BS lab slip like it’s a rest my case moment. It’s not.
This isn’t about drugs. It’s about power, ego, and a guy who thinks rules are for everyone else. And as always, follow the money.
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Elon says he’s clean. So is nuclear waste - right up until you open the barrel.
He used his son’s urine. It was taped to his leg.